Skip to main content

30 days to New York.

I love this city so much. I can't believe I'm already leaving it. I love the view of my apartment. How big the sky is over the Sound. The cool breeze. the music.

THE PEOPLE my family my friends my neighbors. all the new folks i've met and will meet in the next few weeks.

I'm really not ready to leave. I keep being told it will be here when I get back but two years is so long.

I believe in what I'm going to go do and what I'm going to go study. I believe that New York is where I need to do it. I think living there will be an amazing experience. I believe I will grow to love it there too.

But I've made a home for myself here. For someone so afraid of commitment I have a real need to nest. And I'm proud of myself for having done so. I could see myself living here right where I am for YEARS. But if I could be doing the work I want to do.... well, wouldn't that just be something?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Three Long Blocks

The distance between school and the subway stop is three long blocks. Three blocks is not very far to walk, but three long blocks stretch into an eternity. Three short blocks would be one thing, but, as far as i'm concerned, the difference between a long block and a short block is approximately half an hour. Over the course of three short blocks, one can only think something like "should i get cigarettes? yes. no. yes. no. well now i've passed the tobacco shop and now i'm at school." Over the course of three long blocks, by contrast, one has time to contemplate the very meaning of a cigarette. What does it mean if i smoke a cigarette now? Is it different if i buy a pack or bum one? Is it different if i bum one from a friend or a stranger? If i offer some money in exchange? Do i even want this cigarette in the first place? Why? Does it have something to do with a general fear of success or a fear of failure? Is it self-sabotage or escape that embodies itself in t

On My PGPs (they/them/their)

In some of my friend groups, asking for a new acquaintance's PGPs is commonplace on first encounter -- checking in about PGPs periodically, too. In most other friend groups, "preferred gender pronouns (PGPs)" are a completely strange concept. Given the first group of friends, I am frequently stunned when I meet someone who has never heard of PGPs. Put on the spot, as I often am, I've been giving a lot of impromptu explanations.   I've been refining my brief description: "Acknowledging preferred gender pronouns is important because gender identity is not a visible quality and we should work to speak authentically with and about one another. When someone refers to me as "she" they are not referring to me but of their own preconceived notion of who I am."   I've been automating my grammar response: "We already use 'they' to refer to one person of indeterminate gender. For example, A: 'my friend will meet us at the

Eulogy for Rusty Sharpe

Rush Limbaugh is a relative of mine. A very, very distant relative. I have never spoken to him and I am certain as I can be that he didn't know I exist. I only know we are related because my great uncle is a historian of "pioneer" history which includes our family. Anyway, I remember learning that he was my grandpa's third cousin (or something like that) as a kid and -- knowing only that he was some measure of "successful" -- being sincerely appalled that he wasn't doing anything to help me and my cousins pay for college. ba dum ba. For reasons I don't entirely understand, I feel compelled to claim him. I have no interest in denying or downplaying the very real harm he willfully ignited or his commitment to moral decrepitude. But I very genuinely hope he finds peace. May you rest May your heart break open May your fear become ridiculous to you May the hatred you gripped tightly now slip through your fingers May your deceptions become heavy to those w