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Showing posts from December, 2011

Three Long Blocks

The distance between school and the subway stop is three long blocks. Three blocks is not very far to walk, but three long blocks stretch into an eternity. Three short blocks would be one thing, but, as far as i'm concerned, the difference between a long block and a short block is approximately half an hour. Over the course of three short blocks, one can only think something like "should i get cigarettes? yes. no. yes. no. well now i've passed the tobacco shop and now i'm at school." Over the course of three long blocks, by contrast, one has time to contemplate the very meaning of a cigarette. What does it mean if i smoke a cigarette now? Is it different if i buy a pack or bum one? Is it different if i bum one from a friend or a stranger? If i offer some money in exchange? Do i even want this cigarette in the first place? Why? Does it have something to do with a general fear of success or a fear of failure? Is it self-sabotage or escape that embodies itself in t