Of Two Minds

Creative as we were, the people became worn down by touchlessness and also something else.  The touchlessness we mourned. The loss of the something else, however, was harder to mourn because the thing that was gone was harder to name. We had many words for what was missing: vibes, energy, warmth, presence. The people had always known it was there but, like most things, it became more evident in its absence. Feeling the lack and not understanding its nature, the people dreamed and imagined, but no matter what we tried, it was always "not the same." In time, the people learned to accept imperfection, knowing this way of living was unsustainable but choosing to believe in our resilience and our ability to live imperfectly for as long as was required that we might save ourselves. By accident and on purpose, our individual lives became one. That is: the many lives of the individual shared time and space and also, the many lives of individuals shared time and space. And in this

The people understood what they had to do. They were scared -- at first, and sometimes later -- but they understood. The people understood it was time do less and in doing less, the people came to understand what they already knew: the meaning of "essential." As time passed, fewer and fewer things became essential. That is, essential meant less. Quickly and slowly the people learned what was needed. What was needed was also less. Less movement, less consumption, less touch. What was needed was also more. More stillness, more coordination, more love. It was necessary, especially, to exist in less places. For a few, the adjustment was effortless. For more, it was difficult. The people wanted to see one another and hold hands. The people were scared -- at first, and sometimes later -- and they wanted to hold one another close, feel healthy heart beats against their own healthy heart beats, look deep into rested eyes, know in the ways that only physical bodies can know that

The night the cops came out, they came out in riot gear. In riot gear they lined the streets of the quiet neighborhoods. We had been told that the gathering ban would be enforced, but we were not told how. The quiet neighborhoods got quieter. The awkward armor, the assault weapons, the clumsy formations of poorly trained soldiers cast fear and the fear sucked up the noise. Silently, parents pulled their children away from the windows and, without touch, covered their eyes. The fear turned off the light. The people struggled to comfort one another without sound or sight or touch. The fear put the people to bed early and kept their eyes open late -- searching but never seeing. The night the cops came out, the people did not gather. Not the way the cops did. It was to prevent the spread of the disease. The people understood about pandemics and understood that was necessary. The people understood how pandemics work. More people would have isolated if they knew they could survive.