There is really just the one time of year I write on this blog. I don't know why. It's comforting. It feels like an excuse to tell people a part of me is missing. It's an outlet for pain that doesn't require processing the emotions of others. Its selfish. It's harmless. This year I haven't known what to do. I started working on a cover/adaptation. I finally abandoned it. The adaptation ended up being a song for me 8 years ago but I don't think I ever clarified for myself why. It was happening too soon. It was making me resentful. It is generally difficult to feel like I can move on without abandoning her. But I have made some big life decisions recently that have not been made complicated by her presence or lack thereof. Which is to say that her absencee is becoming normal. I am not holding on in a way that is painful. I've always cried a lot. Even as a kid, even now. I no longer see it as a problem to be dealt with as a much as a thing that happen
Well, at least two.