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The Tower (a true story)

My heart has been breaking. Today, I pulled the Tower card.

I have been feeling alone — heartache tastes like rejection to me. Today, a friend told me that their heart was breaking too and showed me that I was in good company.

I have been terrified of being alone with my mind… afraid that if I lean on the Universe, I will withdraw altogether. Today, my therapist reminded me that when I embrace my oneness with the Universe, I am more available to the people around me.

I have been overwhelmed by the love of the Universe and the Grace in my days, bringing confusion to the pain. Today, I told a friend how I was feeling and they told me that they had all the space for my feelings and helped me hold them.

I have been confused by the heart ache because I can’t find all the sources. Today, a friend told me the rules of feelings, including that I don’t need to know the source in order to feel them.

I have felt nervous to take care of myself. Today, a friend sat with me virtually while I accomplished a scary task.

As you may know, the Tower card signifies painful, tumultuous, necessary loss. It is world shifting. It is not optional. Resistance will make it hurt more but there is no way to make it feel good. The thing about the Tower, though, is that some things need to fall away to make room for the new.

My heart has been breaking. Today, multiple people helped me brush away the broken pieces and sit with the pain.

My heart has been breaking. Today, we made room for a new one. 

________________________

Day 6 #pandowrimo @adriennemareebrown (Tell a success story [even if its only a fantasy so far] about) managing relationships and boundaries with our pandemic-mates. @elianaherman


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