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the time before acceptance (part 1)

The night the cops came out, they came out in riot gear.
In riot gear they lined the streets of the quiet neighborhoods.

We had been told that the gathering ban would be enforced, but we were not told how.

The quiet neighborhoods got quieter. The awkward armor, the assault weapons, the clumsy formations of poorly trained soldiers cast fear and the fear sucked up the noise. Silently, parents pulled their children away from the windows and, without touch, covered their eyes. The fear turned off the light. The people struggled to comfort one another without sound or sight or touch. The fear put the people to bed early and kept their eyes open late -- searching but never seeing.

The night the cops came out, the people did not gather. Not the way the cops did.

It was to prevent the spread of the disease. The people understood about pandemics and understood that was necessary. The people understood how pandemics work. More people would have isolated if they knew they could survive.  But all of the necessities of life had been commodified -- that is, basic rights had to be purchased. And the only way to get money was to work. (so far). The people created networks of mutual aid to help people stay home. And it helped -- but it wasn't quite enough. Plus the wealthy were acting like nothing happened.

Naturally, the people understood. There weren't many sources of information invested in knowledge--most were invested in profit. But there were some and the people could tell the difference. Still, information sources seeking profit tried to spread misinformation and panic and--because they had been relentless and the cops had been relentless and the judges had been relentless and the politicians had been relentless and the media had been relentless and many people had been taught by the public or their teachers or their parents that they themselves were the enemy--many people were scared to listen to what they already knew.

Was it to prevent the spread of the disease?

The night the cops came out, the came out in disguise. They hid themselves publicly, in "gatherings" of "any kind." Legal, because the threat of violence was understood to be "essential."
Hidden in gatherings of any kind they hoped to lure others into similar constellations. Without badges, a small gathering suggested safety to the people. With no cops in sight, the people felt safe. The cops felt clever to lull innocent people into a moment of rest, made possible only by disguising their vocation.

The people understood. The government understood. The government still believed prisons were "essential." The people and the government understood that pandemics spread with close contact.

The gathering ban was to prevent the spread of the disease.

Judicial systems were not considered "essential," so anyone found in violation of the gathering ban was collected in a van or a bus and imprisoned. Because the new prisoners had been out in the time of COVID-19, the chance of the disease being brought into the prisons was non-negligible. The people and the governments understood that pandemics were spread with close contact.

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all of the above is emergent from a fearful reaction. this is what my fear right now feels like. its for noticing and holding but not for living in. there will be more parts but right now my fear wants to be known.

thanks to adrienne maree brown for the phrase "quarantine fiction" and the seed on ig: @adriennemareebrown

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