Skip to main content

after acceptance (part 1)

The people understood what they had to do. They were scared -- at first, and sometimes later -- but they understood.

The people understood it was time do less and in doing less, the people came to understand what they already knew: the meaning of "essential." As time passed, fewer and fewer things became essential. That is, essential meant less. Quickly and slowly the people learned what was needed.

What was needed was also less. Less movement, less consumption, less touch. What was needed was also more. More stillness, more coordination, more love.

It was necessary, especially, to exist in less places. For a few, the adjustment was effortless. For more, it was difficult. The people wanted to see one another and hold hands. The people were scared -- at first, and sometimes later -- and they wanted to hold one another close, feel healthy heart beats against their own healthy heart beats, look deep into rested eyes, know in the ways that only physical bodies can know that their loves were ok and, therefore, that they were ok, too.

Quickly and slowly the people let go. There were those who did not live with their lovers or had no lovers to live with. Those who had no children at home and no familiars to curl up at the end of the bed and warm their feet. Those who needed time to accept goodbye to touch. Those with no balconies or windows that opened, no backyards and roommates who smoke indoors. Those without homes, those who lived in harmful places or relationships. Those with no where to go. For some, it took time. For some it was impossible. Quickly and slowly the people came home.

The people forgot -- briefly, and sometimes later -- that uncertainty does not mean failure, uncertainty means: you don't have the whole answer because you don't have the whole problem. Uncertainty means listen. In listening the people found silence and in the silence they heard the voices of those who would help.

Embracing their collective isolation, the people became creative. Embracing their collective isolation they found new ways to laugh, dance, organize, recover, date, plan, fuck, grow, grieve, work, feel, know. Those who had found ways to give. Those who needed found ways to ask. Those who neither had nor needed found ways to offer they did not realize they could. The people came to understand what they already knew: the freedom of interdependence.

---
thanks to adrienne maree brown for the phrase "quarantine fiction" and the seed ig: @adriennemareebrown

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I attract living situations that support my growth and happiness

You've just finished a small Mother-in-Law in your backyard/a sunny basement apartment/a tiny house in your ample side yard . You built it because you had the time and the skills and you wanted help paying for health care/to pay real rent to the Duwamish/a white person to pay you reparations .  You live off the 5 so I can visit my baby nibling without transferring busses/the light rail so I can visit my family in Tacoma/somewhere in sight of a lake so I have people visit me there .  We see each other often/infrequently/sometimes and when we do its usually because I'm weeding your garden/offering you raw desserts/bringing my bike in when you're heading out .  I am typically early to bed except in the Summer. I keep the yard tidy and my music playing is getting better all the time. I'm more than happy to check on your pets if you're on vacation or home late.  You let me paint the walls and plant my own plots. You are generous with your resources and take responsibili...

On My PGPs (they/them/their)

In some of my friend groups, asking for a new acquaintance's PGPs is commonplace on first encounter -- checking in about PGPs periodically, too. In most other friend groups, "preferred gender pronouns (PGPs)" are a completely strange concept. Given the first group of friends, I am frequently stunned when I meet someone who has never heard of PGPs. Put on the spot, as I often am, I've been giving a lot of impromptu explanations.   I've been refining my brief description: "Acknowledging preferred gender pronouns is important because gender identity is not a visible quality and we should work to speak authentically with and about one another. When someone refers to me as "she" they are not referring to me but of their own preconceived notion of who I am."   I've been automating my grammar response: "We already use 'they' to refer to one person of indeterminate gender. For example, A: 'my friend will meet us at the...

i am breaking open.

i am breaking open. i am breaking open. my cells ache to break apart. this corporeal manifestation longing to be dust. i'm not sure how much more i can transmute. a musty filter in a decaying house. i'm not sure how much more i can weather. a dry tree sweating against wild fire. every bit of my willingness strained to avoid rotting or burning up without any awareness what is in between disassociation and fury. i want to offer you something to help you keep going. i want to offer you something to help me keep going. i want to write the words that bring understanding. that invite love. that breed courage. that melt hatred and fear. i want, with gentleness, the goo of transformation, the digestion of the parts of ourselves that now only wound, that now only inhibit, that we do not need. the transformation of white supremacy and manifest destiny and doctrine of discovery and nationalism and all these confused ideas, naïve misunderstandings of purpose held onto into an adulthood arr...