Blanket Burrito of Growth

Today is so weird.

I feel so wiggly. But not with energy.
I feel like I'm in FIGURE IT OUT boot camp.
and i'm struggling struggling against it.

I'm in a blanket burrito of change and growth and I HATE it HATE it!
so I'm fighting against it but it's rolled so tight I can't get out!
and if i would just relax it would be comfortable & nice.

And then when I was ready I could unroll myself from my blanket burrito cocoon and then I could wear it like a cape! Or neatly fold it and put it away.
And walk with my head held higher and my arms better huggers.

But I don't know how/can't/DO NOT WANT TO STOP struggling struggling.

Comments

Three Long Blocks

The distance between school and the subway stop is three long blocks. Three blocks is not very far to walk, but three long blocks stretch into an eternity. Three short blocks would be one thing, but, as far as i'm concerned, the difference between a long block and a short block is approximately half an hour. Over the course of three short blocks, one can only think something like "should i get cigarettes? yes. no. yes. no. well now i've passed the tobacco shop and now i'm at school." Over the course of three long blocks, by contrast, one has time to contemplate the very meaning of a cigarette. What does it mean if i smoke a cigarette now? Is it different if i buy a pack or bum one? Is it different if i bum one from a friend or a stranger? If i offer some money in exchange? Do i even want this cigarette in the first place? Why? Does it have something to do with a general fear of success or a fear of failure? Is it self-sabotage or escape that embodies itself in t...

On My PGPs (they/them/their)

In some of my friend groups, asking for a new acquaintance's PGPs is commonplace on first encounter -- checking in about PGPs periodically, too. In most other friend groups, "preferred gender pronouns (PGPs)" are a completely strange concept. Given the first group of friends, I am frequently stunned when I meet someone who has never heard of PGPs. Put on the spot, as I often am, I've been giving a lot of impromptu explanations. I've been refining my brief description: "Acknowledging preferred gender pronouns is important because gender identity is not a visible quality and we should work to speak authentically with and about one another. When someone refers to me as "she" they are not referring to me but of their own preconceived notion of who I am." I've been automating my grammar response: "We already use 'they' to refer to one person of indeterminate gender. For example, A: 'my friend will meet us at the...

South African >> American Dictionary

General Conversation, Getting Around rand >> south african unit of commercial exchange R8 >> $1 cheers >> bye petrol >> gas ..., hey? >> ..., amirite? minibus >> minivans and the informal form of transit most people take. surprisingly safe, affordable, and reliable. the fare taker may attempt swindling you out of some rand, though. Food chips >> fries spinach >> swiss chard english spinach >> spinach sweet potato >> something that looks in shape/texture like a sweet potato, but has red skin and white flesh. apparently they also have orange sweet potatoes and white sweet potatoes. I have not yet spotted a white sweet potato. The red version is cooks up softer than orange ones like we have. yam >> yuca, maybe? i have never seen a vegetable like this in person before. roughed up, almost pineapple-like brown skin, white interior. kale, unfortunately, does not exist here. peanut butter, strangely, does, mak...

Of Two Minds

Search This Blog