Of Two Minds

Today: Family Stuff + Raw Dinner Sunday: Sweet Crafts? + Matt Moves In Monday: Work Stuff Tuesday: Cakearoke at Highline Wednesday: More Sweet Crafts? + More Raw Dinner? Thursday: Helms Alee Friday: Soap Box + House Business Saturday: Soap Box Sunday: ?? Monday: ?? Tuesday: ?? Wednesday: Be Done Packing, PLZ Thursday: Fly to Boston oh geez.

brushing her hair out of her eyes. it's just -- he started -- that sometimes you say things that make me want to raise your children.

I love this city so much. I can't believe I'm already leaving it. I love the view of my apartment. How big the sky is over the Sound. The cool breeze. the music. THE PEOPLE my family my friends my neighbors. all the new folks i've met and will meet in the next few weeks. I'm really not ready to leave. I keep being told it will be here when I get back but two years is so long. I believe in what I'm going to go do and what I'm going to go study. I believe that New York is where I need to do it. I think living there will be an amazing experience. I believe I will grow to love it there too. But I've made a home for myself here. For someone so afraid of commitment I have a real need to nest. And I'm proud of myself for having done so. I could see myself living here right where I am for YEARS. But if I could be doing the work I want to do.... well, wouldn't that just be something?

Today is so weird. I feel so wiggly. But not with energy. I feel like I'm in FIGURE IT OUT boot camp. and i'm struggling struggling against it. I'm in a blanket burrito of change and growth and I HATE it HATE it! so I'm fighting against it but it's rolled so tight I can't get out! and if i would just relax it would be comfortable & nice . And then when I was ready I could unroll myself from my blanket burrito cocoon and then I could wear it like a cape! Or neatly fold it and put it away. And walk with my head held higher and my arms better huggers . But I don't know how/can't/DO NOT WANT TO STOP struggling struggling .

Thank you for attempting to articulate that which is difficult to articulate. I believe you very well may have.

I finally picked up one of your books. So many people I respect and adore think you're marvelous so I broke my once indefinite ban on male authors and picked up a book of short stories. Thus far, I'd enjoyed it. Interesting style and characters and all the other nice things people say about you. Today, I ran out to catch the last dregs of sunlight and read one. It was long and got cold while I was still pages from the end. Intrigued by the characters and wanting to get a sense of closure, I persisted. I may have lifted my ban too soon. I don't want to be too quick to anger, but is there anything at all enlightening in taking one of those cases of unacknowledged rape from the perspective of he who commits? Or perhaps, of course, it is not the responsibility of a writer to be enlightening. It is enough to just describe. Could more not have been done? You wrote it in a way that someone such as myself can see the underwritings of how women will often allow men to have se...

She walked into her apartment to find her roommate clad in her junior high P.E. shorts and a bikini top, hair slicked up with coloring mousse. Her roommate was hunched over a tray in the sunny window of what she knew to be dehydrating raw "bread." "What are you doing?" she inquired of her roommate. "I'm quitting smoking," was the response. -- She went outside, walking through the crowded streets. She had done up her freshly-dyed hair and face. She wore a skirt, exposing her scarred calves, and a shirt that was quite obviously lingerie. She repeatedly tapped her right pointer finger against her left thumb and glanced around her. She smelled of body odor and lavender. A friend ran into her and asked "Hey, what are you up to?" Not making eye contact, she replied, "I'm quitting smoking..." and followed her own gaze into space. -- She ventured into a second hand shop. First she looked to see if there were any dining room tables. ...